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kmazzy at 01:59pm on 11/08/2003
kmazzy at 01:59pm on 11/08/2003do you think it's wussy if you like someone, but someone else you liked first doesn't like that someone, to not tell the someone who you liked first how much you like the person you liked second?
i mean, are you being a bad friend if friend1 says mean things about friend2 and you don't disagree or stick up for them at all. even if you believe friend1 to be wrongfully slandering friend2? but cos as well as friend1 a lot of other people are saying bad things about friend2 or agreeing with friend1 it'd be scary to go against them all.
hmmmmm.
i mean, are you being a bad friend if friend1 says mean things about friend2 and you don't disagree or stick up for them at all. even if you believe friend1 to be wrongfully slandering friend2? but cos as well as friend1 a lot of other people are saying bad things about friend2 or agreeing with friend1 it'd be scary to go against them all.
hmmmmm.
ponderous
(no subject)
You're not a bad friend for not outright sticking up for your friend to another friend, you're just worried about offending your first friend by defending the second.
By asking questions you shift the burden of explaining to the friend who's saying bad things, then you either learn something about friend2 that may make you agree with friend1, or you can properly rebuke what friend1 is saying against friend2.
(no subject)
*hugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggs*
tell friend1 (and all other people agreeing with friend1) that you really like friend2, and that you'd rather they didn't talk about him/her in that way around you. and keep telling them that until they keep it to themselves around you. if need be, reassure friend1 how much you like him/her too.
at the same time, it's probably worth being cautious with friend2, just in case friend1 and co. have a point. but don't stop being friend2's friend, and figure him/her out for yourself. friend1 and co. may well be missing something, after all.
in short: be honest, be cautious, be loving, be you.
*love you!*
Ellyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Re: *hugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggs*
of course things get more complex when in roleplay situations. after all, does friend1 actually know friend2 or just dislike character2. or has friend1 been talking about friend2 as character1? do friends 1&2 like each other but characters 1&2 do not?
i think friend1 has been assuming things about friend2 based on character2. although character2 is fairly similar to friend2 so the assumptions may be fair.
of course, if you are me and then get involved with friend3 who has a long history with friend2, but who friend1 doesn't like either because of their association with friend2 then you get into even more trouble. especially if friend2 was your friend before friend3, introduced you to friend 3 and then is miffed that you like friend3 better.
ok, i just need to stop now. :)
(no subject)
It may not make your friends like each other any more, but at least they shouldn't dislike you for thaking the side of the other.
Too many of my friends at not-on-speaking-terms that i begin to lose track. :/