(no subject)

[kmazzy]

do you think it's wussy if you like someone, but someone else you liked first doesn't like that someone, to not tell the someone who you liked first how much you like the person you liked second?

i mean, are you being a bad friend if friend1 says mean things about friend2 and you don't disagree or stick up for them at all. even if you believe friend1 to be wrongfully slandering friend2? but cos as well as friend1 a lot of other people are saying bad things about friend2 or agreeing with friend1 it'd be scary to go against them all.

hmmmmm.

Comments

[tomkayito.livejournal.com]

If this is your situation, instead of letting the weight of the problem fall on you, redirect the situation. Ask why all these people are against friend2. Tell friend1 to explain what's so bad about friend2. There could be something you don't see about friend2 that they do see, or it could be something increadibly stupid that makes no sense (in which case I would point that out to friend1).

You're not a bad friend for not outright sticking up for your friend to another friend, you're just worried about offending your first friend by defending the second.

By asking questions you shift the burden of explaining to the friend who's saying bad things, then you either learn something about friend2 that may make you agree with friend1, or you can properly rebuke what friend1 is saying against friend2.

[kmazzy.livejournal.com]

hmmm. i will try this tactic. thank you Tom! you are a nice helpful boy. *hugs*